sip of orange juice
20 oz water
apple cinnamon oatmeal - 150
peanut butter sandwich - 400
strawberry yogurt - 150
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
2/10/11 - huge changes
20 oz bottle of water
apple cinnamon instant oatmeal - 200
greek peach yogurt - 150
burger king veggie burger (no mayo) - 350
this has 3 million mg (actually 960 mg) of sodium. bad. bad. i couldn't think of anything healthier on my way up to my other office. i was freaking out pretty soundly. I GOT A NEW JOB TODAY!!!
peanut butter and jelly sandwich - 500?
glass of orange juice - 250?
decaf coffee with skim and maple syrup - 100?
bowl of frozen stir fry veggies, plain - 100?
apple cinnamon instant oatmeal - 200
greek peach yogurt - 150
burger king veggie burger (no mayo) - 350
this has 3 million mg (actually 960 mg) of sodium. bad. bad. i couldn't think of anything healthier on my way up to my other office. i was freaking out pretty soundly. I GOT A NEW JOB TODAY!!!
peanut butter and jelly sandwich - 500?
glass of orange juice - 250?
decaf coffee with skim and maple syrup - 100?
bowl of frozen stir fry veggies, plain - 100?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
2/9/11 - overwhelmed
i have been so overwhelmed with life lately that i haven't had any chance to keep my food journal. this last week has been more action-packed than any in my immediate history. crazy. maybe i'll be able to talk about it all soon. we'll see. so, basically, the food journal was bottom of the priority list. although eating right is more important than ever. i thought about trying to go back to the weekend and remembering everything i ate, but it's nearly impossible and the idea of it fills me with anxiety, so nope. not gonna do it. i was doing so well for a while, too.
i'm a little sad because they say that 30 days of anything makes it a habit and i fell off the wagon with filling in this blog on like the 29th day...
anyway, today, day whatever:
bran cereal - 200?
greek yogurt, peach - 150
1 20 oz bottle of water
macaroni and cheese - 300
vegan, no preservatives from natural food patch, a little high in sodium though
steamed cauliflower - 100
nick steamed it with chicken stock. dude. what a wonderful idea! it tasted great and didn't need any additional salt or sauce or anything.
medium apple - 100
2nd 20 oz bottle of water
spoonful of peanut butter - 200
piece of sprouted pullman - 100
veggie burger - 100
skim milk - 50
we looked at houses (1 was ok and the other was the WEIRDEST layout i've ever seen) and then we went to last wednesdays at Josephine. 6 course, gourmet french meal for $30? you can't beat it!
spinach provencal on baguette - 200?
nicoise salad - 200?
sorbet (pallet cleanser) - 100?
duck a L'orange with duchess potatoes and green beans - 1000?
i didn't eat the skin or finish the meal... no idea how many calories.
1/2 glass of cabernet - 100
vanilla bean ice cream with orange glaze - 400?
lots o water
3300 total ish?
i'm a little sad because they say that 30 days of anything makes it a habit and i fell off the wagon with filling in this blog on like the 29th day...
anyway, today, day whatever:
bran cereal - 200?
greek yogurt, peach - 150
1 20 oz bottle of water
macaroni and cheese - 300
vegan, no preservatives from natural food patch, a little high in sodium though
steamed cauliflower - 100
nick steamed it with chicken stock. dude. what a wonderful idea! it tasted great and didn't need any additional salt or sauce or anything.
medium apple - 100
2nd 20 oz bottle of water
spoonful of peanut butter - 200
piece of sprouted pullman - 100
veggie burger - 100
skim milk - 50
we looked at houses (1 was ok and the other was the WEIRDEST layout i've ever seen) and then we went to last wednesdays at Josephine. 6 course, gourmet french meal for $30? you can't beat it!
spinach provencal on baguette - 200?
nicoise salad - 200?
sorbet (pallet cleanser) - 100?
duck a L'orange with duchess potatoes and green beans - 1000?
i didn't eat the skin or finish the meal... no idea how many calories.
1/2 glass of cabernet - 100
vanilla bean ice cream with orange glaze - 400?
lots o water
3300 total ish?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
day ? - (Sun.)
Bran cereal, Milk, Frozen vegetables with tofurkey, Simply orange orange juice, Mcdonalds sprite and chicken snack wrap, Lettuce wrap with hummus chicken taboule, natural food patch macaroni and cheese with chicken
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My life solely in relation to food
Essentially this is the journal of my life with one caviat. This journal is very simply my life as seen in relation to food.
I've never really been very open about this part of my life. It's something new I'm trying. We'll see.
Factors affecting this journal (from the onset at least, i'm sure they might change or grow):
1. I lived a large portion of my life eating less than 800 calories a day
2. I lived another portion of my life binging and purging (with some overlap)
3. Now I tend to live my life fluctuating between "less that 800" and binging
4. Purging hasn't been a part of my life for a while, but that makes the binging that much worse for my self-esteem
5. Food is one of my favorite things
6. Food is one of the things I hate the most
7. I drink to "unwind" on a regular basis
8. The number 1 activity that my friends, family and I love to share is having an indulgent meal with indulgent drinks
9. My husband is a very talented chef
10. The doctor told me to lose weight, lower my cholesterol, watch my blood pressure, excersize more, eat less salt, eat more nutritious food
11. I am at least 30 pounds overweight for my age, height and build. I would like to lose 60.
12. At times, my appearance / weight is more important to me than my health.
13. I am aware that my husband and I's currently fictitous, possible future baby, aptly named Game Changer (Changer for short), will change many of these priorities. But how exactly?
14. Skinny equals happy.
Here I go...
I've never really been very open about this part of my life. It's something new I'm trying. We'll see.
Factors affecting this journal (from the onset at least, i'm sure they might change or grow):
1. I lived a large portion of my life eating less than 800 calories a day
2. I lived another portion of my life binging and purging (with some overlap)
3. Now I tend to live my life fluctuating between "less that 800" and binging
4. Purging hasn't been a part of my life for a while, but that makes the binging that much worse for my self-esteem
5. Food is one of my favorite things
6. Food is one of the things I hate the most
7. I drink to "unwind" on a regular basis
8. The number 1 activity that my friends, family and I love to share is having an indulgent meal with indulgent drinks
9. My husband is a very talented chef
10. The doctor told me to lose weight, lower my cholesterol, watch my blood pressure, excersize more, eat less salt, eat more nutritious food
11. I am at least 30 pounds overweight for my age, height and build. I would like to lose 60.
12. At times, my appearance / weight is more important to me than my health.
13. I am aware that my husband and I's currently fictitous, possible future baby, aptly named Game Changer (Changer for short), will change many of these priorities. But how exactly?
14. Skinny equals happy.
Here I go...
Friday, February 4, 2011
Day 30 - Food as a gift (Fri.)
office coffee with powdered creamer and real sugar - 100?
blueberry bagel - 200?
this was not planned at all. the drivers brought it to me. i'm completely unable to turn down food-as-a-gift. it's a weakness that i can't stand about myself. even if i don't really like it. even if i could just throw it away when the gifter isn't looking. i end up eating it anyway. it's free. it's a sweet gesture. i can't help it.
same goes for free food in general. for some reason my brain goes, "it's FREE! make sure you take the most advantage of this free, generous act as you can." this happens at choir when people bring stuff like cheese and crackers or toffee candy in. this happens when we have a meeting at work and i eat 4 pieces of deep dish pizza instead of the 2 i would normally eat. this happens if i stay at a hotel that offers continental breakfast included in the room rate.
i STUFF myself. i "make it worth my while." god, gross.
blueberry bagel - 200?
this was not planned at all. the drivers brought it to me. i'm completely unable to turn down food-as-a-gift. it's a weakness that i can't stand about myself. even if i don't really like it. even if i could just throw it away when the gifter isn't looking. i end up eating it anyway. it's free. it's a sweet gesture. i can't help it.
same goes for free food in general. for some reason my brain goes, "it's FREE! make sure you take the most advantage of this free, generous act as you can." this happens at choir when people bring stuff like cheese and crackers or toffee candy in. this happens when we have a meeting at work and i eat 4 pieces of deep dish pizza instead of the 2 i would normally eat. this happens if i stay at a hotel that offers continental breakfast included in the room rate.
i STUFF myself. i "make it worth my while." god, gross.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Day 29 - Snacky food (Thurs.)
1 20 oz bottle of water - 0
it's been too long. my lips are dry.
3 wings - 600?
i heated up 4 of them. i actually thought i would eat them and then heat up more, but i couldnt' even finish the first 4. i sat in the lunch room by myself, super happy that no one was around. i tried to eat them with a fork and knife. i broke 2 tines off the plastic fork. i was making a mess and getting sauce under my finger nails. it was making me feel disgusted for so many reasons. i just really hate eating with my fingers. and i hate anyone watching me eat messy food.
so of course, coworkers started coming in. i wish i had eaten at my desk, but i hate that too. i basically had to stop eating to talk to them, and by the time they left, i just threw the 4th wing away. it was kinda cold and i just couldn't eat it. it was too much trouble.
apple - 100
1 macaroon - 150?
left over kung pao chicken with fried rice - 800?
2 sam adams - 400?
1 glass red wine - 200?
then i sat on the couch and repeatedly said things like, "i wish we had some snacky food." i never ended up getting any snacky food but Nick suggested a few ideas (all too much work in my opinion) and then said, "you ALWAYS say, 'i wish we had some snacky food.'" i guess he's right now that i think about it. i'm one of those cliche people who wants to munch on crap when i'm sitting around. that is not good at all. i'm aware of it, but awareness doesn't do any good.
2250 total-ish?
it's been too long. my lips are dry.
3 wings - 600?
i heated up 4 of them. i actually thought i would eat them and then heat up more, but i couldnt' even finish the first 4. i sat in the lunch room by myself, super happy that no one was around. i tried to eat them with a fork and knife. i broke 2 tines off the plastic fork. i was making a mess and getting sauce under my finger nails. it was making me feel disgusted for so many reasons. i just really hate eating with my fingers. and i hate anyone watching me eat messy food.
so of course, coworkers started coming in. i wish i had eaten at my desk, but i hate that too. i basically had to stop eating to talk to them, and by the time they left, i just threw the 4th wing away. it was kinda cold and i just couldn't eat it. it was too much trouble.
apple - 100
1 macaroon - 150?
left over kung pao chicken with fried rice - 800?
2 sam adams - 400?
1 glass red wine - 200?
then i sat on the couch and repeatedly said things like, "i wish we had some snacky food." i never ended up getting any snacky food but Nick suggested a few ideas (all too much work in my opinion) and then said, "you ALWAYS say, 'i wish we had some snacky food.'" i guess he's right now that i think about it. i'm one of those cliche people who wants to munch on crap when i'm sitting around. that is not good at all. i'm aware of it, but awareness doesn't do any good.
2250 total-ish?
Day 28 - Snow day binge (Wed.)
nothing at all productive today. didn't do laundry, work out, eat well, read, explore.... etc. what's funny is that we got chinese and my fortune said something like, "the things you do today are good." really? wow. i guess it's nice to have a cookie tell you that the bad decisions you made throughout the day are actually good ones. thanks fortune cookie.
now this is going to be hard, cause i'm writing a day late and yesterday was basically a food/drink/lay-in-bed/lay-on-the-couch fest.
apple cinnamon oatmeal with real blueberries - 200?
hell yeah, started out well. nick brought it to me in bed. awww...
chickory coffee with milk and simple syrup - 200?
cheesy hamburger helper with bocca instead of meat - 800?
this actually would have been really healthy(ish) but nick used chicken stock instead of water and it was WAY salty. so he had to add cream, corn starch and some other crapola to fix it. i feel kinda bad that i was mean in response. but on the other hand, how many times do i have to tell him that if i want RAMEN, i don't want it all mucked up with fancy-schmancy flavors, condiments, etc? same goes for hamburger helper. i want it out of the box into my bowl. it WAS awfully nice of him to cook a couple meals for me though. :)
diet 7-up - 0
2 glasses of red wine - 300?
then i got a craving. i have no idea why it sounded so good, but i REALLY wanted chinese or thai. it turned out bangkok express was closed (probably because of the snow) so we got chinese next to blockbuster. it was a binge day both in money and food. i felt guilty and happy. conflicted.
1/2 dinner roll - 100?
why would a chinese place give us dinner rolls?
1 spring roll - 400?
half carton of kung pao chicken medium with fried rice - 1000?
3 sam adams - 500?
hardly moved from the couch. watched that owls movie, the guardians of ga'hoole or whatever. i liked it a lot. very secret of nimh. we also marathoned sex and the city. we watched something like 10 epsiodes? maybe more?
i LOVE sitting at home with nick doing nothing. it makes me feel really bad that that's what we're into: sitting on the couch and watching movies or reading books. i feel like we should change. we should become those people who are really into mountain climbing or hiking or at least bike riding. but what better day to excuse laziness than one where the world is covered in mounds of fresh snow?
3500 total-ish. omg. bad news. many many calories consumed and hardly any expounded.
now this is going to be hard, cause i'm writing a day late and yesterday was basically a food/drink/lay-in-bed/lay-on-the-couch fest.
apple cinnamon oatmeal with real blueberries - 200?
hell yeah, started out well. nick brought it to me in bed. awww...
chickory coffee with milk and simple syrup - 200?
cheesy hamburger helper with bocca instead of meat - 800?
this actually would have been really healthy(ish) but nick used chicken stock instead of water and it was WAY salty. so he had to add cream, corn starch and some other crapola to fix it. i feel kinda bad that i was mean in response. but on the other hand, how many times do i have to tell him that if i want RAMEN, i don't want it all mucked up with fancy-schmancy flavors, condiments, etc? same goes for hamburger helper. i want it out of the box into my bowl. it WAS awfully nice of him to cook a couple meals for me though. :)
diet 7-up - 0
2 glasses of red wine - 300?
then i got a craving. i have no idea why it sounded so good, but i REALLY wanted chinese or thai. it turned out bangkok express was closed (probably because of the snow) so we got chinese next to blockbuster. it was a binge day both in money and food. i felt guilty and happy. conflicted.
1/2 dinner roll - 100?
why would a chinese place give us dinner rolls?
1 spring roll - 400?
half carton of kung pao chicken medium with fried rice - 1000?
3 sam adams - 500?
hardly moved from the couch. watched that owls movie, the guardians of ga'hoole or whatever. i liked it a lot. very secret of nimh. we also marathoned sex and the city. we watched something like 10 epsiodes? maybe more?
i LOVE sitting at home with nick doing nothing. it makes me feel really bad that that's what we're into: sitting on the couch and watching movies or reading books. i feel like we should change. we should become those people who are really into mountain climbing or hiking or at least bike riding. but what better day to excuse laziness than one where the world is covered in mounds of fresh snow?
3500 total-ish. omg. bad news. many many calories consumed and hardly any expounded.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Day 27 - (Tues.)
1 large grapefruit - 200
i brought wings for lunch. i'm stressed about how to eat them. i hate eating with my hands, i don't like eating the skin and have to pick it off and i don't really like eating in front of people in general, especially when it's something really messy. i'm going to have to eat in my cubicle, and i HATE that.
well, i didn't end up having to worry about it. i went out with a coworker and client for lunch.
caesar salad - 300?
french bread - 300?
manacotti - 1000?
yeah, i shouldn't have eaten it all.
nick is on this no red meat kick, so for dinner we had veggie food. it was actually pretty good.
lettuce wraps with bocca, hommus and taboule - 300?
1 arcadia beer - 200?
2 glasses red wine - 200?
2500 total-ish
i brought wings for lunch. i'm stressed about how to eat them. i hate eating with my hands, i don't like eating the skin and have to pick it off and i don't really like eating in front of people in general, especially when it's something really messy. i'm going to have to eat in my cubicle, and i HATE that.
well, i didn't end up having to worry about it. i went out with a coworker and client for lunch.
caesar salad - 300?
french bread - 300?
manacotti - 1000?
yeah, i shouldn't have eaten it all.
nick is on this no red meat kick, so for dinner we had veggie food. it was actually pretty good.
lettuce wraps with bocca, hommus and taboule - 300?
1 arcadia beer - 200?
2 glasses red wine - 200?
2500 total-ish
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