My life solely in relation to food

Essentially this is the journal of my life with one caviat. This journal is very simply my life as seen in relation to food.

I've never really been very open about this part of my life. It's something new I'm trying. We'll see.

Factors affecting this journal (from the onset at least, i'm sure they might change or grow):
1. I lived a large portion of my life eating less than 800 calories a day
2. I lived another portion of my life binging and purging (with some overlap)
3. Now I tend to live my life fluctuating between "less that 800" and binging
4. Purging hasn't been a part of my life for a while, but that makes the binging that much worse for my self-esteem
5. Food is one of my favorite things
6. Food is one of the things I hate the most
7. I drink to "unwind" on a regular basis
8. The number 1 activity that my friends, family and I love to share is having an indulgent meal with indulgent drinks
9. My husband is a very talented chef
10. The doctor told me to lose weight, lower my cholesterol, watch my blood pressure, excersize more, eat less salt, eat more nutritious food
11. I am at least 30 pounds overweight for my age, height and build. I would like to lose 60.
12. At times, my appearance / weight is more important to me than my health.
13. I am aware that my husband and I's currently fictitous, possible future baby, aptly named Game Changer (Changer for short), will change many of these priorities. But how exactly?
14. Skinny equals happy.

Here I go...